Overload

Even just have too much to deal with?

I think it's just becoming too much right now. Working full time, full time mothering when I get home and on weekends, trying to keep up with the house, yard and garden, painting my house, trying to keep to a healthy diet and cook all my meals, and play the occasional video game or read some books. That sounds like a lot. Throw in a strange and troubling medical problem (actually 3 separate ones, one of which sent me to an emergency clinic this past weekend, only to be told they didn't know what caused the troubling symptom), and finally throw in an almost debilitating fatigue over the past few days.

It all became too much tonight. Oh, nothing drastic happened. I just laid down in Declan's room and refused to open my eyes while I had a little pity party for myself for 5 minutes and tried very hard not to yell at him.

Feeling very sorry for myself that we don't have anyone here to help us take care of our little guy. He's sweet, but he also is a handful and needy and I'm always trying to choose between playing with him and making sure he's not watching too much tv or playing video games, and trying to make myself believe that he needs time to play by himself while I lay on the couch.

Literally last night, it was all I could do to get out of the house and go to dinner. Then trying to give him his bath was very tiring. I almost didn't even have the energy to take a dirty dish to the sink.

Today, I splurged and ate waaaay too many chocolate covered espresso beans (I have no self restraint right now) but I felt great all afternoon. Had plenty of energy, so much so that I came home a little early and made homemade mozarrella cheese since I had enough energy to stand at the stove for 45 minutes tonight. But at Declan's bedtime, it was all gone again.

Wish there was someone I could ask that could really understand what was going on? I mean, am I having allergy problems due to the high pollen count right now? Is it something as esoteric and adrenal fatigue and needs a better medical intervention? Is it related to my weird and troubling medical symptoms from this weekend?

I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself and want some free time. ACtually found myslf in bed at 9:30 tonight. Maybe I can find time to get 8 hours of sleep tonight and feel much better tomorrow.

Silliness

Some fun games we've played lately.

Tonight, my office is all torn up. The couch cushions are on the floor in front of the couch, and the coffee table is pushed against the far wall. All so Declan can do flying jumps face down into the cushions from the couch. He talked Daniel into jumping a couple of times. I did it once. That was enough for me.

Then we watched silly cat videos on YouTube.

Don't Go, Mommy!

Just a quick funny. When I went to work this morning, he didn't want to give me a kiss or hug goodbye. So I said okay, kissed the top of his head and headed for the door. He ran down the hallway and plastered himself against the door with his arms outstretched so that I couldn't open it.

Unfortunately for Declan, I remembered I had to take out the trash and went out through the garage.

It was very sweet to see him do that, though. :)

My favorite pictures

Getting ready for a trip and wanted to have some pictures posted to show some friends.

Jelly Face!



Visiting with Grandmommy and Grandaddy


Pumpkin Can Hat.


The pumpkin he decorated all by himself in preschool. (Well, I think the teacher helped him glue on the ice cream cone hat.)


Having fun with Daddy.


Feeding ice cream to the cat.




Having dinner at Sesame Street before the pre-school christmas program.






Riding a tractor with Grandad in Illinois at Christmastime


I think he was more interested in the numbers than the tractor ride.


Christmas morning. He has a "little cookie man" sugar cookie.


Opening presents was a lot more fun this year than last. He got it this year.




This year's Christmas sponsored by Thomas the Tank Engine and Hot Wheels.


Playing cars with his cousins, Garrett and Devon. They were sweet and generous and gave Declan their entire collection of Hot Wheels cars to take home.


Sitting in the backhoe with Grandad.





Checking out the combine.


Declan and Devon both wanted Devon's new hat.


Trying to convince Garrett to give him a horsie ride.


Snow is cold!!!! Especially when it gets in your eyes!


He loved playing in the leaf piles I raked up when I got home after Christmas.






Spear fishing in the leaf pile!